


Do It, Coward

by orphan_account



Category: Kingdom Hearts
Genre: I am also bad at tagging, Multi, Vanitas Is Bad at Feelings (Kingdom Hearts)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-14
Updated: 2020-06-14
Packaged: 2021-03-03 20:28:33
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,215
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24721585
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: Well? Get over there!
Relationships: Roxas/Xion (Kingdom Hearts), Vanitas/Ventus (Kingdom Hearts)
Comments: 7
Kudos: 34





	Do It, Coward

**Author's Note:**

> This story hit me like a truck running over an isekai protagonist. It do be like that sometimes.

Vanitas wants to die. That's right, die, right now, on the car seat. If only the stupid redhead on the driver's seat could understand the sheer agony of being sandwiched by these losers.

By losers, Vanitas laments, he means Xion and Roxas.

Always dancing around the elephant in the room, Vanitas inhales. 

"I'm surrounded by _idiots_."

_Exhale._

Xion flashes him a sympathetic smile. The restless drive is nearing its end, and the skyline greets them with bursts of reds and oranges as they reach the exit of the skyway. Vanitas squirmed and fidgeted throughout the ride, the stuffy suit mocking him as he struggled out of its clutches. Xion did not say a word, not even a jab, even though Vanitas has cornered her to the leftmost edge of the backseat.

A saint.

"Roxas," Xion leans over to the opposite end of the backseat, her profile in plain view of Vanitas, and cups her hand in mocking whisper, 

"Someone's _nervooouus_!" Roxas snickers, a knowing smirk flashing his way.

The devil. That's what she is.

"You. You're officially on my shit list." 

"Aw, Vani!" Xion pouts. Most times, it's her saving grace from Vanitas' divine wrath. With Roxas? A classic "Get Out of Jail Free" card. She could get an ice cream out of it too, if she did it long enough. 

But _no_ . This is _not_ one of those times. 

But Vanitas finds his frown softening. His hand slides over his face. He groans loudly, long enough for Xion and Roxas to stop laughing at his expense.

"Aw, Vani," Xion says, her teasing voice now a warm comfort, "It'll be okay! You'll see. Just head over to him, give him the letter, and head back. Simple, right?"

 _How the_ **_fuck_ ** _is that simple?_

"I've practically known him all my life man, he's not gonna do what you think he'd do," Roxas reassures. "I still can't believe it though, you really think you'd win against me in an _ice cream eating contest_?"

"How the hell should I know you can inhale that much sugar?" Vanitas grumbles. It was supposed to be the other way around, dammit. It's _him_ who should be laughing, watching the pure entertainment of Roxas hobbling over to Xion, letter in hand.

 _Because Jesus Fucking Christ_ , he breathes, he's seen these two idiots dance around it like it's fucking minesweeper.

* * *

It's been two years since Xion skipped over to him in the empty hallway, face lit up in unabashed glee. Vanitas raised an eyebrow, eyes narrowed in suspicion.

"Let me guess," Vanitas eyed her up and down, "Sea Salt's on sale."

Xion dramatically sighed. "Oh man, I wish!" A soft laugh escaped her lips. "But it's just as good," she breathed.

It felt good, amazing even, to see his best friend happy. _She deserves the world_ , he thought, _after being dumped by those shitty excuses of a friend_. But he also knew that said shitty excuses of a friend were also products of Xion's shitty judge of character.

So, you know, one can never be too wary when Xion gets all happy like this.

"Well?" Vanitas prodded. "What got you smiling like an idiot over there?"

Xion laughed like he said the funniest joke of the century. "Remember that boy I told you? The one who looks _exactly like Ven_ at Math class?" She was so giddy, she was making small hops where she stood. 

_Uh-oh. Please don't be a repeat of Larxene._ _Or Marluxia. Or Seifer. Or-_

You know what, you get the point.

Vanitas inhaled, exhaled. He took his time stuffing whatever he could stuff inside his locker. The empty hallway nudged him with its silence, the lone creak of his locker warning him to speak up, right this instant, before Xion combusts with whatever news she's trying so hard to contain.

"Yeah. Roxas, right?" The blonde is a carbon copy of Ventus. Vanitas could have mistaken Roxas for the other too, if only he wasn't acting like an emo edgelord all the time. 

_But maybe he's just as kind._

"Yeah! Roxas!" There was an unmistakable care in Xion's voice when she said his name. Vanitas nodded.

"Well!" Xion's hopping went full force, "he said he loves Sea Salt Ice Cream too! So I said we should hang out sometime ifthat'sokaywithyou," Xion stopped hopping. She transitioned to clasped hands, pleading eyes, praying for Vanitas to say yes. 

_Say what now?_

Vanitas pinched the bridge of his nose. He hates people, it's a miracle he even got to be friends with Xion. But he figured, if Xion's going to bring over a new friend, then Vanitas could at least judge Roxas for himself.

And the rest is history. 

* * *

_Well, fuck it._ Vanitas slumps. _This is what I get for playing Cupid._

But it's been two years, _two fucking years_ , since Vanitas knew they like each other. They weren't even subtle about it. How many times has he caught Roxas stealing a glance at Xion when he thinks she isn't looking? How many times has he heard Xion singing Roxas' name in indescribable glee?

Too many fucking times, that's what.

So how, how the hell, do these two idiots _not know_ that the feeling's mutual?

Vanitas feels like he's going to blow up in frustration.

Oh, he's tried. He's tried alright, to get the two to confess. When Lea came along, Vanitas got him roped in, but the combined power of Xion and Roxas' dense-ness is _too_ _much_. 

Noticing Vanitas' silence, Xion pats his shoulder in comfort. "Seriously Vani, it's gonna be okay!" She looks at him with kind eyes, "Tell you what, we can bail prom if it doesn't go well. We can go bashing cars at the junkyard until midnight." Xion gives him a mischievous smile.

"Just call me, you three," Lea pipes up. "I don't want to hear Ira go on about _discipline_ and _common courtesy_ again." He rolls his eyes at the image of it. "I'm not even any of your dads! What's up with that?"

Xion and Roxas laugh at the thought, and Vanitas smiles in kind. Lea is years older than them, whom they met when he was manning the ice cream shop they frequent. Despite the eyeliner, the spiky red hair, and the tattoos on his face, their parents and practically everyone at school accepted him as the three's guardian. Lea must be very special to get even his dad, Ansem, to like him.

He wouldn't admit it, but he admires Lea. He wishes he could be as dependable.

* * *

The sky is a blush of indigo when the car slows to a stop on the driveway of Daybreak Pavilion. The three step out of the car, admiring the building before them. A multitude of warm lights line the hedges to either side of the stairs, leading up to the vast entrance of the hotel. Some were hung on wire sculptures dotting the driveway. More hang from above, where the covered stairway starts, like bright raindrops captured in slow motion. A red carpet covers the steps, and colorful balloons fill its exposed sides. The school really went all out this time.

Lea waves them goodbye as he drives the car off to the distance. The car now out of sight, they head for the entrance, taking in the view before them.

Vanitas watches Roxas, who is watching Xion walk gingerly up the steps, the hem of her navy dress flowing just below her knees with every step. The warmth of the lights glisten on Xion's pearly hairpiece, her jet-black hair shines in silent competition. 

In the sea of lights, Xion glows.

That does it.

Vanitas nudges Roxas. Maybe a bit too hard.

"Hey!" Roxas breaks his gaze on Xion. "What was that for?" He frowns.

"Let's make a deal," Vanitas says, "I'll buy you all the Sea Salt you want, _for one year_ , if you do just this one thing."

Roxas swallows. _One whole year?!_ He thinks. _This doesn't sound right_. For one thing, Vanitas has never looked this serious before. Sure he's grumpy, and he always looks like someone took his last cookie, but the intensity of his stare and the hard line of his lips look uncharacteristic.

Whatever that one thing is, it's not gonna be easy to do.

"Well?" Vanitas prods. "Hear me out?"

It's a gamble, but Roxas nods. "Shoot."

"Tell Xion you like her." Vanitas' stare softens to a thoughtful gaze. "That's all you have to do."

Roxas' hands go numb, his knees buckle, and his heart beats a hundred miles an minute.

"What? Whaaaat?" Roxas sputters. "I mean why, how," Roxas cards through his gelled hair. He grimaces. "How did you know?"

Vanitas snickers at the sputtering mess before him. "How did I _know_?" He laughs, a strange lightness taking over him, "You idiots are so obvious, it's killing me." Vanitas rolls his eyes. "The moment we got in the car, you two doofuses were all over each other, going 'Oh Roxas, you look amazing!'" Vanitas sighs, a few octaves higher than he'd like. "'Y-you look beautiful, Xion.'" He sputters in the exaggerated tone of Roxas' voice. "You gotta be fucking kidding me."

Roxas can feel the heat rise up his face. "O-oh yeah? And what about Ven, huh? You think I don't see you staring at my brother like a freaking creep?" He pouts defiantly, eyes squinting.

Vanitas feels his heart catch in his throat. _Fuck this guy._

"Don't you forget, you're the one who lost the bet here," Roxas' pout melts into a triumphant grin. "I call the shots."

Roxas clumsily walks toward the stairway, knees weak from having been found out. _How long has he known?_ He wonders, his feet threatening to stumble over each other as he heads toward Xion, his pace painfully slow.

Vanitas scratches his head in frustration. _I'll deal with them later._

The letter in his hand suddenly feels heavy. If the frustration from those two pining idiots won't kill him, this stupid piece of paper will.

 _I'm no fucking better_ , Vanitas sighs, _I've known him far longer._

* * *

The streamers were popped out of their cylindrical prison, bursting in the air to fall down on the young graduates below. Sixth graders yanked out their caps to excitedly toss it in the air, meeting the colorful streamers halfway. Parents and teachers clap and clap, watching proudly as students cheer for the end of elementary. 

Well, save for one boy.

Vanitas glanced over to the blonde, who was crying his heart out next to Mr. Eraqus. Vanitas wasn't a graduate. He's two years too young. But his father is good friends with Eraqus, and Eraqus insists that they get together to celebrate Aqua and Terra's graduation. So here he was. 

Ansem occasionally pointed out things that could interest the quiet boy. _Look, Vani,_ he'd say, _that's a corsage,_ or _You'd be marching over there someday too, Vani_.

Vanitas humored him with a few questions, or with a nod here and there. But he couldn't take his eyes off the sniffling boy. _He's not a graduate_ , Vanitas wondered. _Why's he crying?_

Ansem noticed Vanitas' distracted gaze and smiled. "Want to say hi to Ven, Vani?" He whispered. His son can be very shy sometimes.

Vanitas smiled a small smile, and nodded. He walked over to Ven's side, his father softly encouraging him along the way, and gently tapped the blonde's shoulder.

"Hi," Vanitas lamely raised his hand in a small wave, "My name's Vanitas. What's yours?"

"Ventus," the boy sniffled.

"Nice to meet you, Ventus" Vanitas gave him a worried look, "Is something bothering you?"

"W-well," Ventus started. The question drew the floodgates open. "Aqua and Terra are gonna leave me!" He cried, "They're gonna be in middle school, and I'll be stuck here for two more years, alone." 

"Same here _,_ " Vanitas comforts, "my friends are starting middle school next school year." 

_But I'm not gonna cry over it._ Skuld and Ephemer may be middle schoolers now, but that didn't mean they couldn't hang out every now and then. And if they couldn't, then oh well, all Vanitas needed to do is wait until he's a middle schooler too, right?

 _Wrong,_ Vanitas laughs at the memory. But it's alright. Friends drift apart. For him and Skuld and Ephemer, it meant miles apart. Skuld moved, then Ephemer. By middle school, there was no one left.

Well, save for the sniffly blonde who cried for the both of them. 

He walks over to where Roxas and Xion stand, who are ushering him in to pose for a picture. The camera clicks over and over as they pull out funny expressions and goofy smiles.

He watches Roxas and Xion fumble over shared gazes and awkward smiles as they talk, their gestures full of meaning without meaning to. _We've been like this too_ , he thinks. He clutches the letter too tightly, creases forming where his fingers dig nervously.

* * *

The bell chimed, ushering in a relief well known to the students of Twilight Middle School. Middle schoolers flooded the halls, laughter and chatter bubbled in the crowded air. Vanitas took one look at the hallway, crinkled his nose in disgust, and noped his way to the nearest bathroom. _Fuck that_ , he thought, he's not gonna drown in all that noise. He turned on his phone, staring way too long at his contacts list, as if willing the two familiar names on the screen to explain themselves.

"I knew you'd be here!" A cheerful voice called out. Vanitas nearly dropped his phone.

" _Jesus Christ,_ Ventus," he gasped, his hand unconsciously clutched his chest, "You trying to fucking kill me?"

"Whoa, relax," Ventus laughed, a goofy smile spread his face. It put Vanitas at ease. How on earth does Ventus do that?

"I was just wondering…" Ventus trailed off. His eyes drifted down to his shoes.

"Wondering…?" Vanitas prodded. 

"Well, if uh, you want to join us for dinner? Terra and Aqua are coming over." Ventus said tentatively. 

Vanitas pinched the bridge of his nose. Ventus should know better by now. 

"We've been over this," Vanitas sighed. "Those are your friends, you don't have to force me into your group."

"But, Vanitas," Ventus argued, his eyes silently pleading, "Skuld and Ephemer are on the other side of the country, and it's nearly Christmas break…"

It was those two names, tumbling out of Ventus' mouth. It pricked at a wound that didn't quite heal.

"What, you're taking _pity_ on me?" Vanitas snapped, "You think you can just swoop in and save me from whatever the fuck you think I'm dealing with?" Anger bubbles in his throat, threatening to poison his words. 

"Forget it. I'm not like you. I don't need my friends around to function."

"What?" Ventus' raised voice pierced through his chest, like sharp glass. "Then I'm _sorry_ Vanitas," he spat, "I'm sorry for trying to be a good friend! I'm sorry I can't be good enough for you," Ventus' eyes glistened in the dull bathroom light. "I guess this wouldn't have been a problem," He laughed bitterly, "if Ephemer and Skuld were here, huh?"

 _What?_ Vanitas couldn't believe what he was hearing. They left him, with no goodbye, no warning. They just fucking got up and left. What is Ventus thinking, bristling over people Vanitas doesn't even want to see right now? 

_Oh._

"Ventus, are you…" the words died in his throat.

_Are you feeling jealous?_

* * *

The music blasts out the opened door in waves, hitting Vanitas with such force that he almost lost his balance. It doesn't matter anyway. The moment of truth is suddenly feeling too real for Vanitas' tastes, and he wishes the music would just knock him dead already.

Xion and Roxas laugh as they notice Vanitas' bewildered face. 

"Looks like we're late!" Xion shouts, her voice barely audible over the cringey electro pop music blasting over the speakers. _Who the hell chose this song?_

"This music has Sora written all over it!" Roxas shouts in reply, and laughs. _That explains it_.

Before he can excuse himself to the nearest bathroom, Xion and Roxas take one of his hands, and pull him to an empty table. 

"Nuh-uh-uh!" Xion tuts, finger wagging comically, "We need to have a plan here!"

"Yeah!" Roxas shouts, the music still taking their ears hostage, "You're not gonna chicken out on us here, Vanitas." He flashes Vanitas a smile, daring him to challenge it. Vanitas smacks his head on the table in response. 

"Guys." He rubs his forehead in frustration. "We barely even talk anymore, okay? Ventus _hates_ my guts"

Roxas and Xion share a look, and promptly guffaw in his face. 

"You two are fucking awful," He grumbles.

"Vani!" Xion laughs, "You can't be serious!"

"Oh he is, alright," Roxas wipes tears from his eyes. "And you think _I'm_ the idiot here? _Puh-lease_."

" _What?_ " Vanitas narrows his eyes at the both of them. "What the fuck are you two stupid _lovebirds_ on about?"

That shut them up real quick. It was sudden, Vanitas thinks, but who can blame him? Desperate times call for desperate measures. 

Roxas shoots daggers his way, ready to fight him, and Xion looks down her lap in stifled shock. 

Roxas is the first one to give in.

"Look, Xion… there's something I want to tell you." Roxas whispers. Vanitas can see the dust of pink spreading across his cheeks. 

"Yeees?" Xion slowly looks up from her lap, her eyes sparkling in a way Vanitas can only understand as longing.

 _This is gonna be good._ Vanitas smirks.

"But first," Roxas smirks back. 

_Uh-oh_.

"Looks like little Vani Wani here's trying to worm his way out of the bet!" That irritating triumphant smile is back. " _Not cool_ , man" Roxas hisses through gritted teeth.

How many times has Vanitas groaned out of frustration today?

"Fine!" Vanitas yells. As if on cue, the music dies down to a mellower song, allowing everyone in the ballroom to hear him.

Maybe if he hit his head on the table hard enough…

"Okay, okay, okay, please don't destroy our table." Roxas says. "Just relax, Vanitas, Ven doesn't hate you," he laughs. "Quite the opposite."

"Yeah, Vani," Xion reassures. "Do you know how many texts we get from him everyday, asking about you?" Xion rolls her eyes in fond exasperation. "It's too many to count!"

"And the 'missions' we're sent to do?" Roxas looks at him teasingly. "'Hey Roxas, could you buy him a Double Crunch for me?'" 

"'It's his birthday and he doesn't really like gifts, but a Double Crunch always does the job'", Roxas and Xion say, a teasing attempt to impersonate Ventus.

Vanitas stares at them, at a loss for words.

"You wouldn't _believe_ how he reacts when you get sick, too," Xion laughs, her gaze thoughtful. "He'd go all the way to the drugstore and buy the medicine himself."

"But he always chickens out at the last minute," Roxas continues, eyes rolling at the image of it, "and we'd end up delivering it for him instead."

"Then he'd call us every hour."

"Yeah, he won't stop bugging us about it!"

Roxas and Xion burst into fond laughter, their gazes softening as their eyes fall onto him. _So Ventus has kept in touch_ , Vanitas thinks, _through my best friends._

The thoughtfulness, the respect for his space, warms Vanitas in a way he couldn't describe. A bright, red blush creeps on his cheeks. He hurriedly buries his face in his hands, hoping none of these jerks saw it.

"So c'mon, Vani!" Xion urges, mercifully ignoring the blushing mess he's become. "There he is right now!" She hurriedly whispers, her hands giddily shaking his arm. 

Vanitas dares himself to look his way.

In the dark, with only the lights of the goofy disco ball above, Ventus shines. His white suit drapes over his body in a perfect fit, far removed from his usual baggy sweaters and tight jeans. His dark grey undershirt peeks out of his pristine coat, tied neatly by a blue necktie that glistens in the passing lights. Its shade of blue, Vanitas realizes, matches the eyes that used to gaze into his.

 _Beautiful_.

_That's what he is._

Vanitas finds himself already standing, his eyes glued to the boy on the other side of the room. He walks toward him, a man possessed, ignoring the delighted cries of his friends. 

Before his mind can protest, before he scares himself back to the table, Vanitas has quickened his pace.

Ventus turns his way, eyes wide, brows knit in a way Vanitas doesn't recognize. 

_Does he miss me?_

_Or is it just me?_

"Vani…?" Ventus implores, careful and anxious. They're only a few feet away now, closer than they've ever been for the last 2 years. 

"Hey." Vanitas gives him a sorry excuse of a wave. "I just," Vanitas scratches his head, "I want to give you something."

"Oh, what is it?"

Vanitas rummages through his pockets for the letter Roxas and Xion hounded him into writing just this morning. He checks his front pockets, his back pockets, hell, even the vest pockets…

 _No letter_. Vanitas quickly turns his head toward their table. There it is, silently mocking him, all folded up nice and neat in front of Xion and Roxas.

Their faces look guilty of holding in laughter. That bastard Roxas flashes him a thumbs up.

_Fuck. Me._

"Look, forget what I said. Can we talk?" He grumbles, so soft that he wonders if the other boy heard him.

A second passes. Another few go by. 

"Ven?" He looks up. He didn't realize he was averting Ventus' gaze until now.

The blonde’s expression was incomprehensible. His eyes glisten, threatening tears, but his mouth is set in a firm, straight line. He looks weak and resolute in equal parts.

Vanitas resists the urge to hug him. Instead, he pats him on the shoulder, and looks him in the eyes.

“Ven?”

“Oh! Yeah, um, sorry about that,” he laughs weakly, “Sure, I’m down. Where’d you want to talk?”

The crowd dancing in the middle of the ballroom has thinned out. There are few enough people for Vanitas to breathe, but many enough to cover them. He feels the urge to debate in his head, toss the idea of dancing around until he’s sure he made up his mind. But he waves it off before it freezes him in place. _There’s no time to lose_.

Vanitas takes Ventus’ hand, cold to the touch, and pulls him closer to the dance floor. Ventus’ eyes widen. Whether it’s the good kind of shock or bad kind of shock, Vanitas has yet to find out.

He stops once he’s in the middle, surrounded by pairs dancing to the mellow music. Vanitas takes Ventus’ free hand and drapes it over his shoulder, and holds the other firmly in his hand, willing it back to warmth.

“Well,” Vanitas stammers, “Let’s dance?”

A surprised laughter bubbles out of Ventus’ lips, eyes gazing teasingly. “You got me here _this far_ ,” he gestures at the guided position he’s taking, “And you ask me _now_?”

It’s a marvel, really, how stupid Vanitas can get.

“Shut up,” he sighs, and lets his free hand cup Ventus’ waist. They sway, aimlessly, across the dance floor, neither boy talking. Muscle memory takes over, and Ventus cups Vanitas’ cheek, the other boy leaning into the touch. Two years ago, this was routine. Now, the touch feels like a lifeline.

Vanitas realizes, if there’s anything that can ground him, bring him gently back to the present, then it comes in the form of this blonde boy, blue eyes crinkling in glee over the littlest things, kind smiles capable of warming his winter nights.

_I don’t want to lose you now._

“Ven,” he starts, heart pounding in his chest.

“Mmm?” Ventus hums, calm washing over him, his stiff posture melting into the familiar grooves of Vanitas’ arms. The two boys tentatively transition to a more familiar position, arms bashfully holding each other as they sway to the music.

“I’m sorry,” Vanitas inhales, exhales. “I shouldn’t have said those things back then. You were just trying to help. I understand that now.”

“Mmm.” Ventus hums into Vanitas' shoulder, his head now resting on the crook of his neck. “I’m sorry too.” He whispers and backs up to face Vanitas, brows knit in worry. “I shouldn’t have been harsh either, I should have known better than to bring up Skuld and Ephemer. I knew how sensitive the subject is, but I still pushed for it.” He laughs, an unmistakable edge to his voice rings in Vanitas’ ears.

“Stop that.” Vanitas sighs, “You’re not competing for my attention, you idiot. So don’t worry about them. They moved on. I have, too.”

Ventus blushes, his feelings found out. Vanitas couldn’t help but snort.

“So, I heard from the two dorks sitting on our table,” Vanitas teases, “that you’ve been spying on me over the last couple of years”. The statement jolts Ventus out of his stupor, cheeks now flushed in embarrassment.

“Aw _man_ ,” Ventus cringes, “I told them not to tell!”

“Lucky for you,” Vanitas croons, “I know how to get back at them for all this.”

Ventus laughs. “I’m all ears.”

A mischievous grin escapes Vanitas’ lips.

“We need a year’s supply of Sea Salt Ice Cream.”


End file.
